Every human heart has areas of broken down walls, wounded places that over time have been left abandoned to lie in ruins. Nehemiah 1 is the story of the message of the broken walls of Jerusalem and her utter ruin reaching the ears of Nehemiah. He wept and repented for personal/family sin as well as the sins of a nation. He was filled with a godly sorrow (which is what repentance is) and could not hide it from King Artaxerxes. But as we go into Nehemiah 2 there is something that is highlighted, a prescription of sorts for us to follow whether personally ruins or in contending for the ruins of a nation.
Nehemiah could not hide his sorrow and the King asked him what was troubling him. Nehemiah answered him honestly and honorably not forgetting who he was serving. But the Kings response is key for those who are in a season of sorrow and going through healing processes. Nehemiah 2:4 “Well, how can I help you”? Oh, that we could get that kind of response from our friends, family or pastoral counsel! “How can I help you” would go a lot farther than immediately offering our own personal advice. People who are hurting do not need immediate answers, or for anyone else to “solve the problem”, they need someone to listen as the King did and ask How can I help? What can I do for you to make this a little more bearable?
From this question, it gives Nehemiah permission to state his needs which in turn prompted the King to dig deeper so that he could understand exactly how he could help. Wouldn’t this be amazing if we were met with this kind of response when we needed to address some personal struggles? A true friend, or spiritual leader offers 3 things that are vastly helpful to someone who is in need of soul healing. Listen, learn, and lament with them. Listen for the root of the issue, learn by asking for more information, as this helps the hurting to actually hear the root for themselves, and to get into their pain with them.
Possibly our pastoral counsel does not produce lasting effects because we typically lack these 3 things. The king (since he was the king) could have said Nehemiah you need to forgive and let it go. You need to trust your God to fix it for you. You need to just stay and serve more, love more and you will forget about it. You need to pour your life out for others, you need to join another ministry, you need to quit being so selfish, you need you need you need. If the hurting does not have a trusted outlet to express the pain it most often stays bottled up. Heap on top of that, spiritual leaders that make the hurting feel guilty for hurting and the cycle of pain continues. Throughout scripture our loving Father gives us permission to weep before Him, to bring Him all our sorrows as well as our praise. Ecclesiastes 3:1 begins with telling us there is a season for everything under the sun. 3-4 “A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance”.
Why then do we not give permission to ourselves or to others to be in the right season? Why do we want to rush through them when Yahweh clearly gives us permission to walk in all these facets of our humanity? We somehow have this idea as Christians we shouldn’t be dealing with these things but if we ever want to be made whole we must deal with them. Today, take some time to breathe, to know what you are feeling, to explore why you are feeling it? Ask the Lord as He is your safe and forever Friend to highlight the roots, show you where you have agreed with Satan about yourself or your God and walk with you in it. He will show you a trusted person willing to walk with you in it. He will lead you through it and out of it, you will emerge leaning on your Beloved. #MyGodisYahweh